Legend Tripping

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  1. Most of the children of Carlin High School were engaged in the usual playground activities, girl gossiped rapidly sounding like a thousand busy typewriters; youthful first years laughed and chas ed each other around the yard, burning off energy; older kids from the rough end of town hid behi nd the toilets, smoking weed. Steven was sitting alone, perched on the fence like a hawk, watching all the normal mayhem when he spotted Simon Anderson take a nosedive onto the concrete. The boy just went white and dropped, and even though the other kids were making a godawful din, Steven definitely heard Simon’s skull crack like a heavy egg as it smashed onto the ground. The noise was a sickening, hollow sound that made his heart jump in his chest. He immediately jumped off the fence and rushed to see if the older boy was alright. In the seconds it took him to move to where Simon was, there was a large crowd around Simon, some girls were screaming, an older boy was shouting, “Get a tea

Maledictions.

Stephen Sweeney / Derelict tenement on Paisley Road West / CC BY-SA 2.0

 “I’ll sing you nine, O”

Brothers, who the fuck would have them? Eddie had always hated his brother Ronnie, even as kids. He remembered his parents forcing both of them to Sunday School and being taught the tale of Cain and Abel. He got a different message from that than the teacher tried to give. Cain was the law abiding son, like Eddie. Cain knew that the animals were filled with the same breath of life as he, that Abel’s sacrifice of livestock was a blasphemy, and yet, Abel was the one the Lord had favoured. Cain, the good son, was not jealous of this, he was enraged by the injustice and had thought, if animal sacrifice granted such favour then human sacrifice would bear greater rewards. In a way Cain had been right. So Eddie had concluded as he packed the claw hammer, rope candles and bible into his black Adidas sports bag. Cain had been specially protected by God. Those unique interpretations of the bible fables that had lead him down the road he was now on. His brother too, to be fair, but Ronnie was, as with everything in his life, greedy and complacent. When they had bid Lord Malphus into their kitchen, thirty years before, Eddie had been courteous and humble, as the books had advised. Ronnie, treated the demon like a barrow-boy, demanding, vaguely contemptuous and had the sheer brass neck to haggle with the creature. Malphus knew a mark when it saw one and so Ronnie, thinking he’d bettered that Devil, went off triumphant, high on his own power. Or so he thought. The high was just like any such drug, addictive. It wasn’t long before Ronnie was doing the full Crowley kick. Whores, smack, conversations with the Guardian Angel, all that shit. Eddie had warned him several times, but Ronnie’s descent into Hell had already begun, Malphus had merely given him some bait and was slowly reeling him in, dragging him through the depravity and darkness, marinading his soul in uncommon debauchery. Eventually Eddie got the call. Ronnie needed help. Malphus had possessed him.

Green grow the rushes, O!”

The exorcism had been rough. Both were as far from being men of God as Job (whom, according to Eddie, upon learning what God had done to him had rended his garment and rejected Jehovah “I abhor you and this world you have made, and pity us who liveth within”). Neither was prepared for Malphus’ tenacity and so, in the end, they just made a deal. Eddie lifted a baby from its pram as the child’s mother gabbed to her friends in a supermarket. A host for Malphus. His friend Gordon Harper knew a really shady guy called Big Skinny and for four grand the horrible looking weirdo had set up this young Catholic girl with learning disabilities to take the fall. The beast left the infant a grey husk and the young woman spent four years in Carstairs before being packed off to a convent somewhere in Eire. After that, Eddie, like Pilate, washed his hands of his brother and the whole affair. Despite cutting all ties with Ronnie after that ugly debacle, Eddie would hear rumours about his brother; a stint in prison; trouble with the Thornliebank mob; tales of blood sacrifice. Eddie shrugged them off, he didn’t know nor did he care. When the stories all stopped he assumed his brother was dead, until he appeared on the front of the Daily Record, apparently he was a “Sick Guru” luring young men and women into his depraved sex and drug cult, near Dalry. Eddie blamed Ronnie and that journalist for his mother’s heart-attack and death the following day. He had vowed that if he ever came across Ronnie again, he’d kill him.

What are your nine, O?”

That day had come. Ronnie hadn’t even been out of Bar-L six months when he was up to his old tricks again. He’d holed up in a one bedroom flat in Wine Alley and was, by all accounts, burned out by locals. He’d ended up in Grimry, working in the Gartland Pub apparently, which was the first honest work Eddie had ever heard of him doing. Eddie didn’t care, not until he got the call. “Alright, big yin?” that familiar contemptible voice had said, the desperation saturating the sounds. Eddie should have hung up. He should have told him to fuck off. He should have warned him that if he ever tried to contact him again he’d get Mr Skinner to tie him by the throat to the back of a train. Eddie, idiot that he was said “Whit the fuck do you want, Ronnie?”

Ronnie had become infested. When he had been a child, he’d had a tapeworm which somehow had managed to lay eggs in his brain. He’d had convulsions, had been ill for a long while and, if the truth be told, had never been the same after that. Some essence had been robbed by those parasites. What filled him now was no accidental ingestion of cestodes, but the deliberate possession by all manner of etheric parasites he could call up from whatever spell-book he could find. He was riddled with them and as he said “I’ve OD’d on demons.”

Upon hearing this, Eddie had slammed the phone down. No! It was as simple as that, his brain, his body, his nerves, even the squirming in his stomach told him not to go. Let his brother be devoured by the things he had called up. It would be a fitting end, no one would ever blame Eddie and the world would be rid of a scourge. And yet… Ronnie needed put down, it would be a mercy. No one else was going to do it. Cursing himself for his suicidal sentimentality, he picked up the sports bag and headed towards Grimry.

Looks like I’m my brother’s fucking keeper after all,” he hissed at the sky as he left his house. As if God was listening to someone like him.

Nine for the nine bright shiners.”

As its name suggested Grimry was not a pleasant place, mostly it was a slum, perched on top of a hill that looked across most of the East-End of the city. It was an abandoned place, where the tenements were still stained coal black, having being neglected in the city-wide renovation policies. The bus dropped Eddie off at the bottom of the hill, in Murcroft, a hundred yards or so from the Grimry train station and the notorious White Feathers pub. A long grey concrete stairway scarred the hill and so Eddie ascended into the district where his brother was just one of the many dark tragedies hidden behind filthy windows. On Brond Street, he watched two children –boys who could not have been older than five- and a small dog with mange chase rats up and down the garbage-choked gutters. Mostly all of the windows on the street were dark or smashed, any tenants having long since left. A smattering of houses still remained lit. He quickened his pace along the narrow road, turning onto Linnock Road, another suffocatingly narrow street which housed a row of shops; a bookies, take-away, newsagents and off-licence. It acted as a hub for the people of the area and even though all were long closed, shuttered for the night, there were still those who loitered with various intents. Eddie did not like the scene. There were two little girls arguing over a plastic scooter beside an overflowing bin. Three shady lads stood under a street-light, corner-boys punting cheap and nasty hash to the locals. By the looks of them business was far from booming. A carful of neds kept them company, blaring noisy pop music out the windows of their second hand hatch-back. At the other side of the shops was a gaggle of young women, all sitting on a small wall, gossiping and smoking. The oldest was no more than twelve, hags in waiting, he thought. As he approached he decided to speak to the corner boys but was distracted by an unpleasantly frog-like man who was walking towards him. “Lookin’ fur somethin’?” The man asked through phlegm webbed vocal cords.

Aye.” Eddie said, curtly.

The man gave a smile containing blackened remnants of teeth. On his cheeks, he had some strange skin disorder, or fungus growing, lots of little white bubbles of flesh that looked like the top of a cauliflower. “So whit’s yer pleasure? Hash, smack? You want a girl?” He asked, gesturing to the young teenage girls smoking by the wall.

Eddie’s stomach churned. “Naw, for fuck sake, I’m lookin’ for Keller Row.”

The sleazy toad gave him a horrified look, which Eddie could not believe, given his previous question. “Whit wid ye want tae go there fur?”

Tryin’ tae find my brother, he lives there.” Eddie said losing patience with this slimy little runt.

Right,” the little man croaked. “Go doon this road tae the crossroads at Graspton Avenue, then take a left doon that tae ye reach a lane on yer left, cut through there an’ ye’ll come oot facin’ a laundrette. It’s up an tae the left of that. Jist… be careful, that place is dodgy.”

Cheers.” Eddie said, concerned by what this creepy pimp considered dodgy. He marched off just as it began to rain. He followed the instructions and by the time he reached Graspton Avenue he was soaked and the streets were slick with oily puddles, the gutters became small lakes, with trash floating on top like a regatta of discarded fag and crisp packets. At the crossroads, he was startled to find one of the poles of the street lights had been painted red and tied to it was a goat. The poor thing was drenched and bleating. Eddie began to feel trepidation and a sense of dread, far off, like a distant thunderstorm.

Eight for the April rainers.”

The lane was about five foot wide, an alley between two sets of dilapidated tenements, each bordered by a rotten crumbling wall. The alley was bloated with bin bags and overgrown weeds. Underfoot, the cracked and muddy Victorian cobblestones were slippery and so he slowed his pace. Something moved, behind him. Eddie felt a surge of panic as he saw something slowly emerge in the darkness, a shadow, human shaped, rakish and groaning. “Goat any sper chinge?” the voice croaked. A tramp who’d been tucking in for the night, sensing a rare opportunity.

Naw,” Eddie replied curtly and moved on, his heart still racing. He came out and, as described, faced “24 COINOP Laundry”. He could see inside, the blank fluorescent lights flickered like they were sending morse code messages to some unseen spy. Three old women sat inside smoking and watching the machines like they were watching their favourite soap operas. All the other shops were closed, the street was empty, except for a dog, hopping off into the shadowy horizon. He looked left, saw the slope up a hill and began to walk up it. As he did, one of the old women in the laundrette popped her head out of the door. “Hey young yin! Show’s yur wullie!” She cackled. Eddie heard the other two inside howl with laughter. He shook his head, chuckled and moved on past the haggard old bags. As he climbed the small slope he began to feel nervous. Here, the lights were out and the only illumination was from a few of the flats that still remained inhabited and from the distant pale stars glinting between holes in thick clouds. At the top he looked left and there it was. Keller Row. As he made for it a gang of young boys sped out of one of the dark closes towards him. All of them wore tracksuits and baseball caps, so they waddled towards him. A little march of ducks, each doing the little cocky walk, wiggling their shoulders like a whore wiggled her hips.

Whit’s in the bag, auld yin?” One asked. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen, he had a long chib mark on his chin. They were common amongst that socio-economic group, akin to some kind of primitive ritual scarring, a signifier of manhood, or perhaps just of a proclivity towards violence and poor impulse control.

Nane o’ your business wee man. Get tae fuck,” Eddie growled.

They surrounded him. The tallest came up to his neck and that one was clearly the most cautious. It was the mouthy one he had to take out. He’d played this game for decades. Drop the mouthy one hard and fast, they were always the leader, once his wee gang saw him buckle they’d all buckle too. As if to prove his point the one that spoke to him first pulled out a pen-knife. The blade was short but still enough to kill.

Open the fuckin’ bag or yer gettin’ ripped,” the mouthy one said.

Awright, fuck sake, keep yer hair oan,” Eddie said, hopefully convincing the lads he was scared. He unzipped the back and opened it up, as if to give them a good look inside. As the mouthy one leaned in and took a look, he laughed pulling out one of the expensive candles. “Connels? Whit ur they fur, expectin’ a power cut?” he sneered sarcastically. As he looked around for appreciation of his wit. Eddie grabbed the hammer from inside the bag and with all the strength he could muster, scudded it across the lad’s jaw. The crack was so loud it echoed before the boy went down screaming, incoherently. An arc of blood, black under the orange lights spattered on the damp tarmac.

Bolt ya wee fuckers,” He ordered. And bolt they did. He shook his head and walked up the street away from them. At a safe distance, they shouted threats, but he didn’t listen. He had other work that needed attending.

Seven for the seven sisters in the sky.”

The street itself was half ruined. Most of the tenement buildings had burned out or collapsed over the years and there were no cars, nor street-lights on the Row. It was a bad place, he knew. In the fifties it had been the home of notorious child killer, Aidan Cameron. In the sixties, a fringe Christian cult had committed mass suicide in a second floor flat of number 15, which no longer existed. Twelve men and women had hanged themselves from the rafters in the attic, which caused the roof to collapse. It was only this collapse that brought it to anyone’s attention. In the 70’s a family of Pakistani immigrants had been burned to death in their home by a gang of drunk football fans. Keller Row had a bad history, so much that even the drug dealers and gangsters avoided this dead, bleak place along with the birds, weeds and rats. It was the perfect breeding ground for evil, a Petri-dish for corruption and malevolence. Even the air seemed thick, potent with potential malevolence. It took him some amount of mental fortitude to step on those cracked and broken paving stones. Ronnie had said he was at number 23, second floor, to the right. It was easy to find given there was only three blocks left. He found the close, narrow, doorless and covered in graffiti and stepped inside. The place smelled of stale dampness and pungent shit, a pile of which he found by the back entrance, a great spiralling pyramid dung, replete with a cluster of flies which swarmed around it like it was some kind of faecal cathedral. There was a puddle of piss next to it, in which an island of vomit sat. The owner of these fluids was curved against the back wall, twisted limbs and head at a strange angle. A woman, in her thirties, nude, long dead, covered in scratches and bite marks, human bite marks. Eddie’s stomach roiled, he knew who’d killed her, there was no doubt in his mind about that. He winced and continued up the dirty stairs. It was time to receive his mark of Cain.

Six for the six proud walkers”

Outside the flat he could see the door, covered in scratches, symbols, signs, glyphs and from inside he could hear something, humming, a quiet singing, a song he hadn’t heard since he was a kid, since they were both kids, in the scouts, “Green Grow the Rushes O” it was called. Weird. He knocked at the door. “Ronnie, open up, it’s Eddie.”

Door’s open,” said a voice that was not Ronnie’s, it didn’t even attempt to disguise the fact. An oily, perfidious groan, derisive and deep. Eddie paused took a deep breath and pushed open the door. A black cloud of flies spewed out the instant there was a crack between door and jamb, they brought with them a hot sulphuric stench of rot, an aroma of The Pit. Eddie swatted the foul buzzing things away and held his breath to stop himself from being sick as he pushed the door open wide enough to see.

The walls were black and moving, swarming with insect life, lit only by four pale candle flames which lay on the floor around the points of the protective circle Ronnie had drawn on the floor. Only four, the fifth, at the cardinal point of the pentagram had been snuffed out. Inside the circle, was a ragged seeping bruised hive of bloated flesh, punctured all over, from which flies and beetles crawled. His brother’s face remained somewhat recognisable, but what looked out from behind those blood filled eyes was not. “Eddie,” it said a gurgling chuckle. And the fifth candle was out. His brother had not been protected. He wondered how many were inside the remains, hundreds perhaps. He didn’t care to attempt a count, didn’t care to rescue his brother or put him out his misery. It was all too overwhelmingly horrible. Whatever was left of Ronnie had been appropriated by the demons. His ritual had failed, the fifth candle was out. A legion of demons in flesh shuddered on a floor. Mere seconds had passed before Eddie closed the door, much to the delight of the demons. The laughter sounded like the canned laughter from a sit-com, only phased and warped and completely sardonic. They began to sing again.

Five for the symbols on your door.”

He heard the infernal chorus sing as he ran down the stairs. He needed to get out, get away from this fucked up mess. Eddie needed fresh air, needed to breathe, to stop his heart racing, to stop the dryness in his mouth and the cold sweat dripping down his back and drenching his palms. By the time he escaped the close his brain was swimming, he felt dizzy, unmoored from the physical world around him. He sat down on the stairs at the entrance and just breathed, trying to reconnect to reality. Sitting there, he noticed the pipe fastened to the wall at the close entrance. The pipe snaked up the wall inside the close, lagged metal, stretching up the stairs and spreading into each flat. He followed it downwards into the ground and realised, it was a gas pipe. An idea formed in his mind. He stood up, took a deep breathe and began to test the tightness of the couplers. The first few were stuck fast and so he went back inside, trying each of them until one gave. Eventually one budged slightly. He knew he had to be careful, the slightest spark and he’d go up along with the building, possibly half the street. Like a safe cracker he slowly unscrewed the coupler until the faintest hiss could be heard and that garlicky gas smell tingled his nostrils. He loosened it slightly more and then, satisfied, climbed to the first floor landing and opened his bag. He removed the bloody hammer, and took out the candles he’d brought. Now he used them to perform another ritual, one of thermodynamics, of combustion. A banishment rite of black science, he chuckled to himself as he lit two of the candles. He let the wax begin to melt until he had a large enough pool to affix all of them to the floor, then lit them all and ran. He charged out of the close, down Keller Row and turned right down the slope, reaching the bottom as the gas finally ignited. Even from there, perhaps a hundred yards away he could feel the heat from the blast. Slate, brick, sandstone and small chunks of what looked like burning asbestos rained down, illuminated by the fireball.

And four for the master builders,”

Eddie watched for a moment before running again, past the laundrette. His ears were still ringing, he could not hear the chattering of the old women, now stood on the street amazed by the inferno Eddie had conjured. They all turned to look at him. They were all saying something but he couldn’t hear anything but a whooshing bell sound. It didn’t matter, he’d done what he’d came to do. He ran past them, back through the lane, where he stopped, both to take a breather and so he was not accosted by the tramp. Cautiously he walked through, as the noise in his ears faded, but still he could hear ringing. Distant but not internal, it sounded like a telephone. The tramp had gone, or vanished under the rubbish for the night. It didn’t matter, he’d done what he’d came to do. He came out onto the crossroads off Graspton Avenue. The few remaining residents were hanging out their windows watching Keller Row go up in smoke. To the left of him he saw the light pole, the goat was still there, but it had had it’s throat cut, moments before. It staggered and stumbled into a pool of its own pissing blood as it bleated its way to death. He could see no sign of who killed it, but it didn’t matter, and where the fuck was that telephone ringing coming from? The sound was of a telephone ringing in Hell. Eddie spotted an old rusted red telephone box about 100 yards down the street. For some reason he knew the call was for him, he could not have explained why. He tortured himself with indecision, should he answer it or run? What if it was Ronnie? Could it be? He was losing his grip on reality again and was stunned to find himself in the booth, which reeked of urine and ammonia. He lifted the receiver. As he did, he heard a chorus, it came from the speaker, from the windows of the tenements, from the 24 coinop, from the old bags and child whores, from the corner boys and the ned with the broken jaw. It echoed through the night, a glorious triumphant song, a moment of malevolent rejoicing.

Three, three the rivals!” they sang, from behind broken windows and filthy blinds, from the black avenues and alleyways, all of Grimry seemed to be singing. Blind animal panic propelled him from the booth. This was no district of Glasgow, this slum belonged the abyss. Eddie ran and ran and ran. On Brond street, there were two pale demonic infants devouring the dog they’d been out ratting with, their faces stained with canine blood. They stopped their feast and sang.

Two, two the lily-white boys all dressed up in green O!”

Eddie screamed as he ran past them. It was momentum and terror that pushed him headlong towards the stairway on the slope down to Murcroft and sanity. He had built up too much and toppled down those concrete steps, muscles torn to shreds by snapping bone as he tumbled down. He felt the ribs stab through his lungs, his vertebrae pop and scrape against the edges of each stair, the shattering of his skull. By the time he stopped, halfway down he was no longer able to move, to feel his limbs, paralysed, in terror, but still alive. He hoped he would live, prayed to that useless fickle bastard above for salvation. Each breath was like a supernova of agony flaring through him. He lay there, a crumpled broken thing, staring up into the drizzle of the night, each drop sparkling and glinting like glitter.

And then, standing in front of him, was his brother Ronnie, grinning. All the sins of Hell were written on that face of his, a twisted perversity of his sibling. In his hand was a hammer. Eddie wanted to plead with him, to tell him he’d won, that whatever was inside him now had been victorious and to plead for mercy, but he could not speak and he knew there would be no mercy. As Ronnie raised the hammer he sang, a soft lullaby to take Eddie into the endless night.

One is one, and all alone and ever more shall be so.”





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